Without you

 I heard you are happy without me.
I heard you are enjoying life without  me.
Have you heard I am lonely without you?
 Have you heard I am nothing without you?

They say life must go on...
 how can I ? when I have loved you all the while.

My heart aches, My heart cries as I bade goodbye to my kids.
losing them, losing you is the saddest moment of my life.

Moving on, everyday is so hard.
I stand up, i fall down everyday without you..

Heartaches, I wish to ignore
physical,mental is driving me crazy without you.


God Loves me
I have to remember that always
and in Time I will be happy again without you.
It is a process, a tedious process
of moving on with life without you.

My kids, my strength and GOD,
from now on life will be life without you.

Writing again

 I recently come across a friend's blog and it awakens my desire to write again. Like her, I, too am insecure about writing. I have poor vocabulary skills and my grammar is not that great too. I even want to take up writing classes but just couldn't find the time and money, way too expensive to take up short courses here in America. But, what the heck if people doesn't understand what I am talking about, my life still moves on. My pride might get hurt a little bit because of too many grammar nazis out there. I tell you I can take criticisms, but with what I am seeing in socmed, people are mean when it comes to English grammar. But like what I've said, WHAT THE HECK?!:)
I have always loved writing, and nobody knows this except me. I remember when I was young I used to write in my diary about stuff. Mostly about life, my heartaches as a daughter, friend, teenage stuff and about work when I was working in Saudi Arabia. There, I was able to write more because you don't get to talk to people a lot because of language barrier. I had friends but because I was new then, I couldn't talk to them about what I was really feeling that time. I do not know them that well to trust them, so I turned to writing.
I remember vividly, I was in one of the treatment rooms, curtains were drawn and I just took out my pen and notebook and wrote about how life is sad and boring in Saudi Arabia. How females are being treated differently there, from my experiences and based on my patients' experiences. How males are sometimes discourteous to females. How,  even your kababayans treated you differently because you are new. Finding friends were difficult.
 I was able to find a few, and we remained friends until now except for one. :)  We had fun, we would grill every Thursday night at the roof deck and there I sat and looked at the horizons thinking of the life I had in the Philippines and realizing that life back home was much better compared to my present situation, while my friends were singing and dancing. But it was a big part of my life that I was thankful to God because there I was able to realize the value of work, money, patience and perseverance.
I am so glad that despite my limited knowledge and poor grammar, writing then was an easy tool to use to get your frustrations out because it releases the tension you are feeling inside.